On the Physiology of the Traditional Extraterrestrial

Giant Eyes 

Let us turn our attention momentarily to the anatomy of those beings from beyond our realm, commonly referred to as aliens. Consider the typical depiction: vast craniums, presumably housing an intelligence far surpassing our own; slender frames; devoid of hair; possessing immense, protruding eyes; diminutive mouths and nostrils.

Yet, a query arises, one seemingly overlooked: if these creatures are indeed products of evolutionary forces akin to our own, why then do they boast such enlarged ocular organs? Eyes, as we understand, serve the function of capturing light, channeling it towards our cerebral receptacles. A larger aperture allows more light, but it also occupies greater cranial space—space that might otherwise nurture enhanced cerebral faculties.

Recall how the organs of speech and scent in our species have diminished over eons, a transformation attributed to our mastery over tools and technology. Surely, these extraterrestrial beings would have undergone similar evolutionary refinements. What necessity then drives the need for such exaggerated visual apparatuses? Could they not have devised instruments to aid their vision, as humans have?

The plausible explanation appears to rest on the nature of their native habitat—presumably a sphere of scant luminescence. Light generates heat, yet their form remains unshielded by hair. Arriving on our luminous Earth, would they not find themselves overwhelmed by its brilliance? Why then do they not don protective shading?

One might speculate, perhaps facetiously, that these beings are less wise than presumed. Reflect upon our own species, ensnared by the trivial delights of Tik-Tok, incessantly engaged with our screens. Could there not exist an alien equivalent, a platform of digital amusement dictating their visual and cognitive evolution? Perhaps their prodigious eyes cater not to intellect but to an insatiable craving for this cosmic form of entertainment, requiring vast expanses of brain matter devoted not to scholarly thought but to the consumption of interstellar social media.